Just follow the laughter!

Yesterday we observed again the effect of our attitude towards the child. While I was playing for the second time with Giannis, a ten year old child, who at home as well as at school displays much aggression, we were having a marvelous time together. He laughed a lot with the funny things (in his eyes) that I said and we were really having much fun both of us. He likes silly things, like all children do. He asked me to say over and over again that what had made him laugh. That of course I did with joy and thus he made me laugh as well and he made me feel good.

After me one of my students was to play with him. She had watched me at the window as long as I was occupied with Gianni. She is a very pleasant girl, following him very well, but she has not yet obtained the ease of playing. For that reason her attitude was rather serious. She did whatever he asked of her, she showed enthousiasm, but Giannhs was disappinted about the lack of humor. He became agressive with her and wanted to get out of the room. He pulled her hair.

His father assumed that he got tired of playing. I understood the situation differently though. Children never get tired of playing unconditionally. If the child does not want to play anymore, we are not at all alarmed or distressed. The child is never obliged to play with us! We might even lie down. No, it was her attitude towards him!

I told her through the window to make him laugh, to become more childlike. For instance, when Giannis threw a small ball at her, she could fall off the ball in a dramatic way, shouting "I fell down!!" He liked it very much when I said normal things in an extravagant manner, like "yes, let's lie down for as minute!". I told her to follow the laughter of the child. If he laughs about something she does, she will do it again and even better!!

She did what I told her to do and immediately he changed. He started laughing again. They both fell off their balls all the time having a great time! When it was time to leave, after two hours of play, Giannis did not want to leave the room.

Experiencing this kind of contact a couple of times a week, will create a change in Giannis. He will be more accepting at home as well as in school. He will finally feel acknowledgement for what he is and he will know that he is worhtwile and perfect, just the way he is now. Then he will not need aggression anymore. I am looking forward to hear the results soon.