Phases of development

The developmental phases of KALESMA

1. We join the child

The first step, before the child's development towards sociability begins, is to join in with the activity of the child, exclusively with its own terms. We can do the same as he does, when there is hardly any contact possible yet, or at moments in which he doesn' t pay any attention to us. It does not matter at all what he is doing. If he allows us to do something else, then again that must be done strictly the way he wants it to be.

2. Playing and learning under the terms of the child

If there is some contact, we will try to prolong the game we are playing. We still stick to whatever the child chooses to play, but we can make some small changes or add something to the activity that we are doing. That way, the game can go into another direction. If the child allows this and maybe even uses what we proposed, we can feel grateful for this step on the way to sociability!! In this phase the child discovers that with other people he can do more and playing with others can be very entertaining!

3. Playing and learning with reciprocity

Slowly the child learns to take and to give, to imitate and to react to us. We are still following the activities of the child, but now there is another quality of interaction between us, because of the rising sociability that he has obtained. Now he can wait for us to do something together, or maybe he cooperates with us making something. There will be some understanding between us. We look each other in the eyes and say: "Ready? Now!"

In this phase the child can enjoy our ideas for new ways of playing. We ask more and more the he uses what he has learned, like words. It shows that our relation gets more and more reciprocal and of a more substantial quality.

4. Playing and learning on our terms

Now the child follows our suggestions. This is a big step. In the beginning we ask simple things for which he has an incentive, because we want him to enjoy working with us. Of course we give big reinforcing reactions! We want him to experience that is is nice to do something for somebody else. We must be playful and relaxed, when we take control. Now is the time to teach more educational skills. We can prepare him for school. 

Of course the phases are not as clearcut as described. Usually during one hour's session, we can observe signs of several stages. A child is moving forwards from stage to stage, showing some signs of the next stage and falling back to the previous one. We just try and evaluate and we feel gratitude when we observe that we can go a step further!