Behavioral problems

How to cope with behavioral problems 

Behavioral problems are happening every single day having autistic children. Usually the difficult behaviour is a matter of the children's confusion and misunderstanding. Often the situation is not clear to them. There are several reasons for that.

* Their egocentrism makes them very insisting on doing or having what they set their mind on. 

* Often the children cannot tell what they want and the adults don't understand what it is. That provokes a lot of anxiety for the child, but also for the adults. 

*Anxiety and stress of the adult is unbearable for the children and provokes behavior problems.

* Nutrician plays a huge role in the behaviour of the children. 

Usually those four reasons mix together. It often happens that a situation is getting out of hand. The children have to stop a certain misbehaviour and the adult doesn't see any other solution than violence -either vocal or physical. A situation can turn into a drama for no serious reason, that we know of. Of course for the children the reason is obvious and very very serious!!

Egocentrism

The children insist very much to have things their way and they don't accept a no. They are not to blame for that, since they function egocentric, when they still have not obtained enough sociability. That means that they are not able to have any idea about the wishes of the other person. They can only see their own needs. When we start playing therapeutically with them though a couple of hours a week, their reactions will become less intense and they will begin to cooperate more.

The second advantage of this playing programme is that the children play with another person in a room, where only nice things happen  -it is an oasis!- while at the same time they obtain socialibility and will start to understand how communication works. During the time the children are occupied with their development with another person, the parent is free and can fill his batteries. I cannot mention enough how important it is to be able to do that! One cannot achieve anything being too tired and stressed! 

Meanwhile there are some things to bear in mind

1. It is very important to forsee as much as possible the reactions of the children, in order to avoid confusion. If for instance they often provoke problems at the super market, it is obvious that they don't know yet that they cannot get what they want everytime. The well ment explanations are useless, since they don't listen at all, but are consumed by the fact that they are not getting what they want. it is much wiser to avoid the super market alltogether as for the moment, because negativity and chaos is not helping them to behave better. ί

If a child tries to get out of the house all the time, the house must be locked. The parents' anxiety is much worse for the child than the locking him up. 
There are an infinite number of difficult situations, in which the best to do is just to avoid provoking misbehaviour. I believe that this is a matter of respect for the child!

2. Autistic children overreact when we don't allow them whatever they asked for, just because they don't understand yet that a 'no' does not mean 'never'. They will probably not even hear words like 'in a minute' or 'tomorrow'. The only thing that is occupying them then, is the fact that they are not getting what they want and that is catastrophical for them. 

It is important that they know when they will go out to the park, or when they will have their chocolate. If they know, that they will get what they want at a certain time, they can wait! It is much easier to have daily routines. Then they can calm down, because everything is going as planned. For instance: the park at 17.00, super market on Saturday, etc. We can also put pictures on a daily programme, in order for the children to see for themselves which activities will occur.